The Spare Bedroom

Photo courtesy of Sura Nualpradid
Convincing myself is the hardest part.
A family should be more than a white picket fence,
And a glossy green Christmas card
With four matching snowflake sweaters. 
A family is more than a picture perfect picket fence.
As intended rooms shift from nursery to guest bedroom,
Thoughts of snowflake sweaters melt in the musty night.
Sometimes dreams are meant to be revised –
Like altering a nursery to look like a spare bedroom.
I cried when we changed the color from blue to beige
But dreams, like blueprints, often need revision
When the structure isn’t strong enough to survive.
Raindrop tears faded from blue to beige and 
We mourned the pictures we would never hang to a
Weakened structure not strong enough to survive.
But strength and grace breathe life when least expected,
One day mourning phantom pictures never erected
And the next changing our world, seeking
Grace in a bland beige life we never saw coming.
Fighting back, we built something from nothing
Because exchanging, changing, rearranging our world
Was all we felt we were fighting for.
It was a lie, building something from nothing –
A fairy tale we told ourselves to sleep better at night,
Pixie dust and a happy little thought worth fighting for,
An ever-shifting, always drifting family portrait. 
I dreamed a dream of sleeping soundly at night
But everything amasses – or passes – in time. 
Just blink and risk missing our shifting family portrait,
Some things in life may change, while others simply
Stay the same as time all but passes us by.
Strong structures can’t be built in a day.
That’s just the way it is, life’s only constant is change –
Perfect picket fences don’t always outlast storms
And steady family structures aren’t built in a day.
Picture perfect changes, it rearranges – I know it’s true, 
But hanging that over the mantel is the hardest part.

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