Palos Verdes

© Lucila De Avila Castilho | Dreamstime Stock Photos
It took thirty minutes to get the couch up the stairs and into my apartment.  Only then did I realize it was not what I had ordered.  I called the warehouse.
            “They delivered the wrong couch,” I said to the manager.
            “I assure you, that is the couch you bought,” she said.
            “I promise you it’s not.”
            “Superior service is our standard, sir.” 
            “Then bring me the couch I ordered.”
            “My system shows that it arrived on site over five minutes ago.”
            “Please don’t take that wrapping off,” I said to the delivery man.
            “Look, I’ve got five more stops,” he said.
            “Oh good so it is there,” the manager said.
            “There is a couch here,” I said to the manager.
            “Like I said superior service!”
            “But I don’t want it.”
            “Is something physically wrong with it?”
            “No I’m sure it’s fine.”
            “Is it torn?”
            “No it’s not torn.”
            “Is it damaged in any noticeable way?”
            “Not that I can see.”
            “Then what exactly is the problem?”
            “It’s made of purple suede.”
            “It’s plum, sir. Plum micro-fiber.”
            “I’m not taking this back down two flights,” the delivery man said. 
            “It’s a very fine choice.  Our most popular model,” said the manager. 
            “Unbelievable,” I said. 
            “Not entirely.  It’s the new ‘it’ color,” she said.
            “It’s not the color I wanted.”
            “Well, what did you think you were getting?”
            “I ordered a tan leather sectional.”
            “I have you down for the Palos Verdes model in plum,” she said.
            “You named your purple couch after a green stick?”
            “As I said before, it is the Palos Verdes in plum.”
            “Do you know any Spanish?”
            “I don’t see how that is relevant.”
            “This is Southern California and you don’t know Spanish?”
            “I’m in Pottsville, Pennsylvania, sir.”
            “I’m not getting my couch am I?”
            “According to my system your order arrived over seven minutes ago.”

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